


Friday Mishap

by LetUsWriteItOut



Series: Friday Mishap Series [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Artificial Intelligence, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Threesome - M/M/M, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:47:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26612464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetUsWriteItOut/pseuds/LetUsWriteItOut
Summary: Tony's new software update brings more chaos than intended.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Happy Hogan/Pepper Potts, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Friday Mishap Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998826
Comments: 4
Kudos: 174





	1. The Beginning of Doom is Sometimes Pleasant

**Author's Note:**

> This was also part of my 2020 challenges collection first, but since I completed the first part and still wanted to continue, I decided to make it it's own series.
> 
> It was littleonevixen who wanted me to write something with the trio - this is what came to mind.
> 
> Hope you guys will like it! XOXO

Tony expected if he was ever defeated it would be by combat, not words.

Until _the incident_ , Tony didn't think much of/about linguistics.

It was too close to poetry for his liking, sometimes too vague. Maybe if he could, he would have communicated with humans in code as well, hacking their minds and debugging conversations to see what went wrong. If not reverting some past interactions.

Still, he had to release a major speech recognition upgrade to Friday's software just last month.

Turns out if the bad guys try to blow you into pieces, even if you don't take serious damage, but manage to badly bite your tongue on impact, you're toast.

His foot got stuck under some debris of concrete, which he couldn't repulse nor simply target without blowing his leg up as well. While he was still taking heavy fire and was desperately trying to command Friday to let him switch back to fully manual combat mode. 

By the time he managed to articulate it well enough though, the rest of the Avengers had bagged the criminals.

Coming to cover him, Barnes single-handedly took care of a dozen thugs, while shielding Tony from most attacks, communicating to Cap on the radio that Tony was out of commission.

Even when it was finally over, Bucky came to check on him, asking if he sustained any dangerous injuries, Tony had to tell him only by letting his faceplate to retract and show Barnes what exactly was the problem, unable to speak.

"I think you'll live," was Barnes's only remark, but Tony thought he was just compared to his father, and judged to be far less capable.

To make matters worse, Steve, who rushed to them to make sure Tony was fine, had witnessed the exchange and added.

"I'm not entirely sure about that. What is Tony _Snark_ without his cutting sarcasm?"

Tony certainly tried to tell Cap that his humor needed some work still for this century if he ever had any and that he was only speaking so much because someone had to fill in for Barnes as well, but he wasn't legible.

Safe to say, he used all his free time next to correct what went wrong.

It took him 4 hours to catch up on the latest neuro-interface tech researches, design a pattern that didn't rust easily, devising a metal alloy that was durable, yet 27% lighter.

Minor inconvenience was that he still couldn't speak, so he had to connect his phone to Friday's speakers around the house and "talk" to Barnes through it, feeling a bit like Hawking, but he certainly wasn't going to write notes on paper.

"I have something to show you," Tony tried to ignore how he happened to find Bucky in the gym, all sweaty and looking like a male model in form-fitting shorts and a plain white T.

"Let me take a shower first," Barnes could have been irritated, it was hard to tell. But he did reappear smelling clean and with a mostly wet hairdo just minutes later, and followed Tony to the lab without any protests.

And when he saw the arm Tony had cooked up for him, he went to take a closer look at it, then he was staring at Tony without comment as if they had a staring match.

Finally, it was Tony who had to type in:

"It's for you."

"Why?" Bucky simply lifted the little finger on the prototype and let it fall.

"I'd prefer not to be in your debt after today," Tony shrugged, when the software finally communicated his message.

"And it has nothing to do with the fact that if you design me a new arm, you can probably dismantle it with a single kill-command the first time you even get an inkling I'm losing my mind again?"

" _Disarming_ my allies isn't a habit I can afford, even if it sounds fun."

Maybe it was the artificial voice that didn't give enough emphasis, or maybe Bucky didn't find it funny, but he just frowned.

"I know I'm only here because Steve threatened to leave otherwise."

"I could always target the weakest spot in combat - which is the same as your current one, the join," Tony had to force himself not to just make a sarcastic comment once more, sensing Barnes wouldn't accept the arm otherwise, and he didn't want to spend the whole day just standing there.

"I like my current arm plenty," Bucky said, but Tony saw how he eyed everything in his workshop, and he was still toying with the new arms movements.

"Then you're gonna love this even more, and we can always upgrade it as you see fit," he wouldn't have believed once he'd have to sell his creations to anyone. "I couldn't help but notice you drag your left side when you're tired and this prototype is lighter."

"How much lighter?"

"I'd prefer to show you, but you'll notice."

They were having a stare-down once again, but this time it was Bucky who talked first.

"If you could also do something about making the finer gestures work, I'm in."

"Define finer gestures," Tony asked through the interface. "I assume you can still give Fury the finger anytime you want, even with this arm."

"I... can't handle delicate things, afraid I'll just crush them if there is a sudden twitch."

"You mean it sometimes glitches?" Tony was already seating Barnes down, ready to hook him up for diagnostics.

Rather than acknowledging the image of the most delicate parts of Steve and how Bucky might have wanted to handle them. 

Not that Barnes necessarily indicated that what he wanted it for, but Tony was convinced they were having sex ever since Barnes moved into the Avenger Tower, Cap demanding them rooms next to each other way too vehemently.

"There are some movements I've learned to avoid to not trigger them, but it's only getting worse, and my memory isn't what it used to be."

"Let's fix it then, Walter," Tony didn't want to drop everything just to type this in, so he muttered it still barely audible, but this was the first time he got an amused smirk from Bucky.

"Who is Walter?"

"A mad scientist from a TV series who is old and forgetful. Kinda brilliant, but got some parts of his brain cut out, I think," Tony said because it's not like he had time to watch anything. He only streamed some content while working and listened to it, if even his beloved Metallica got too old too, sometimes.

"Is it on Steve's list? I promised not to watch anything from it before he could," Bucky didn't even flinch when Dum-E almost broke his arm instead of taking it off, and Tony jumped to remedy that problem.

"I doubt it." Steve's list was quite basic, after all.

"Then maybe I could take a look."

"I can pull up a screen while I work on you," Tony typed, and only realized how that sounded when Bucky just raised an eyebrow. "While I upgrade your arm."

Tony was right, and it took more time to take off Bucky's arm properly, attach the new (every part had to be in place with a precision that wouldn't let water in), and then fine-tune every gesture. They were merely half-way through, maybe, when Barnes asked for the time, and it was already 5 am.

"I'm sorry, I should let you go sleep," Tony typed, not happy he'd have to leave any work unfinished, but other humans preferred more sleep than he had the luxury to afford.

"I don't mind, as long as it won't attack me in its current state if I try to use the toilet real quick," Bucky told him, making Tony type with a smirk.

"I'll also get you a coffee if you manage to survive."

He didn't realize how much time had passed because unlike the others, Barnes didn't talk too much to annoy him, letting him work, sitting as patiently as a rock, watching _Fringe_ in the background.

And that roll only continued once Tony got his first caffeine dose of the day, and they started testing the current arm, Tony also suiting up partially, taking mental notes of possible upgrades, now seeing the arm in action. He sucked in Christmas presents anyway.

By the time Bucky was done, Tony wanted to get back to the repairs of his suit, but Barnes didn't just leave.

"Do you want me to grab you lunch from the kitchen?"

"I'll make Friday order some pizza when I'm hungry."

"It's already 3, and I'm going there anyway," Bucky said and came back indeed with two large portions of food.

Tony thought Bucky must have chosen to eat it with him as well only because nobody showed him how to operate the TV in his room yet, and would leave anyway once the episode he started came to an end. He almost got a heart attack when Barnes spoke up hours later, lingering still.

"What are you testing for?"

"If I can't speak properly, the speech recognition still should work at least until I can switch to manual mode. I set up a machine learning rig to learn human speech that's not quite legible but has some meaning. You'd be surprised how many people upload videos of their _simply adorable_ toddlers trying to speak, so at least I didn't lack reference materials. Even though I had to exclude some videos where dogs were 'speaking' to toddlers," Tony typed in, and didn't even have to execute the vocalization because Barnes read it from his screen before he could.

"But something is not going well." Bucky stated it with such confidence that Tony first thought Barnes understood more of technology than he originally thought, but the soldier was looking at him, not the code, the screens, or the simulation.

It was more likely he read it from Tony's irritated posture or pained face.

"Not to be rude, but I didn't even know you were still here."

"I can't go to the gym 24/7, and Fury can't find me here," Bucky offered and explanation with a small shrug. "He keeps insisting I need to 'talk to a professional' of his choosing, threatening to not let me do missions or go outside until I do."

"As he always insists I need to talk to people face to face more. Maybe we could be each other's alibi."

It was only a joke, but it was true that Bucky was the least interfering guest he'd ever had in his lab - even counting his robots. And he didn't sound like someone who'd try to steal Tony's data for SHIELD at least, which couldn't have been always said of Nat, for instance.

"I could watch some more episodes, and bring you more of my cooking," Bucky, however, didn't register humor. Which made Tony think it wasn't a joke about the cooking part either.

"You mean to say you made the lunch you've brought?" It wasn't even bad, but certainly edible, especially compared to when Thor or Cap or Peter tried to make something.

"Now that I can hold and not instantly crush the produce, I think it should only get better," Bucky told him. "And I'd do it anyway, Stevie still doesn't like the food of this era as much as the recipes his mom used to make."

Only Bucky could call the great Captain America "Stevie" without any malicious intent, and Tony rather returned to his work than to comment on that.

"So, what is the problem?" but the soldier didn't sense Tony's sudden discomfort, only taking a couple of steps closer still, until he was standing there shoulder-to-shoulder with Tony, looking at the projections.

"The chance that I get hurt and unable to speak at all is still more significant than I'd like, so I need a workaround ASAP, while I ran tests what happened if this new feature was added to the Tower's speech recognition system as well, but there is a risk that it would create a security gap."

"Is the Tower's speech recognition so complex?"

"I live here," Tony would have told him with some edge in his voice, but still couldn't, which meant more typing. "It's meant to be so safe if a conventional army came through the windows the implemented security measures should identify them as hostiles and get rid of them without me lifting a finger. But I had to disable some functions a couple of weeks ago, and with this new code, I could get them back."

Actually, Tony didn't explain anything he worked on before into this detail to anyone except maybe Rhodes once when he asked, but Barnes was a tech-enthusiast (he even mentioned going to an expo just to see Howard's inventions when Tony was tinkering with his arm before), and was a very good listener in a sense that he never tried to talk over him.

"Did you disable them because of me?" Bucky was right, the time-frame fit, but it wasn't the reason, so Tony had to even explain further, just when he thought he was done talking for the week.

"It was because of Natasha and Clint."

"What did they do?"

"Got to such a serious 'friendly fight' while training, that they perfectly matched the data the security system had on seriously threatening postures and movements. They almost destroyed the whole Tower, when Friday tried to eliminate them and blamed me."

"But how does this tie into speech?" Bucky wondered.

"If I can safely add a more nuanced speech recognition coupled with an ever-growing database of behavioral patterns, it could distinguish between Nat and Clint flirting and fighting," Tony explained with a sigh.

"And where do you get the behavior patterns?"

"Thousands of books on the topic are already in Friday's processes. I only need to throw some culture at her in a form of reality shows where people sometimes passionately attack each other, but live, and maybe implement a baby-sitter function for the non-lethal attacks."

"How accurately can Friday learn? Can she learn anything you want her to?"

"It depends. With a large enough amount of both data and time, she can be smarter than me in any field that's not as complex as finding the meaning of all the universe," Tony admitted, and he should have caught the fault in his logic right there and then.

Maybe it was how close Bucky stood to him when he was curious that made him less alert, maybe it was the competition he had in his mind with Howard now, trying to impress Bucky more than his father could, but he didn't.


	2. Even a Century-Old Secret can Come Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have a bit of a recap in this chapter to see how Cap and Bucky became a couple.
> 
> Which timeline are we in, you might ask? This is a complete AU. 
> 
> Steve is training the next gen of Avengers, so he was contacted by Prof X, so they could cooperate regarding the youngsters, and they'd become good friends! 
> 
> But I also made it so no knowledge of the X-men universe is needed to read ;)

Bucky would have retired on a farm in the middle of nowhere had it been not Steve who told him to come back.

Even so, he first had said no, but when Steve appeared on his doorstep, looking as if he was just a step away from a complete breakdown, with a wild look in his eyes, and told him Peggy was dead, he ended up packing a bag. 

He told Fury as much: his stay in the Avengers Tower was only temporary, watching Steve's back making sure he didn't do anything stupid just because of his grief, but otherwise, he was done.

But not everything was as bad as he first anticipated it. In some cases, the future seemed full of potential and exciting.

"I do get paid something, right? Even if it's not the salary of the year, I imagine..." he asked Steve one day when they were watching _Die Hard_ , and for once, no-one called Steve away in the middle of it, which in itself was a miracle.

"The money isn't bad," Steve looked at him with searching eyes. "If you have time to spend it."

"I was thinking of getting an iPhone," Bucky confessed. "Maybe also one of those laptops everyone seems to have now."

"But why buy one? You can just borrow mine anytime you like," Steve told him. 

Bucky was already wearing some of Steve's clothes because he didn't have much moving in. And Steve insisted he could order new ones online, just as he demanded them rooms next to each other, and any time Bucky wanted to leave the Tower, by default it had to be with only Steve.

"Steve, I'm not one of your kids in training like Wanda or Peter or the others in need of parental supervision at all times, and I can do things on my own, you know," Bucky told him a couple of days after moving in, but nothing seemed to change, and Steve only seemed to shut down after that.

Now he wondered how could he put the same thing into a better context to be understood.

"And what if I wanted to look at some nudes? Do you want me to do it on your laptop SHIELD gave you for work?"

"They can't tell me what I'm allowed or not allowed to open on it," Steve pressed his lips into a thin line.

"But still..."

"If you wanted, we could watch porn together, instead of these movies," Steve stated as if that would ever work.

"I don't get it! Why invite me to join your team at all if you can't trust me with a computer of my own? Do you think if you've left me with a laptop unattended for five minutes, I'd use it to destroy the world or something?"

"It's not about that," by now, the movie was completely forgotten, and Steve looked as defensive as he felt.

"Then you have to tell me what is it about because I don't see any reason to stay here if _you_ can't even trust I have your back. God knows Stark will never trust me and who can blame him, Natasha keeps waiting for a good enough reason to eliminate me, and don't get me started on Fury because..."

"We used to know everything about each other. No secrets, remember? And now... it's like you've never forgiven me for leaving you behind, and would like to get rid of me."

"That's not right. How can you even think that for a second?" Bucky couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I should have looked for you."

"Even I thought I was a goner when I fell."

"But you still didn't look for me when you were free of Hydra. It took me years to find you, and only managed because a friend of mine who is a telepath offered to help."

" _Stevie,_ it was only because I tried to protect you. I was your only weakness. Maybe I still am," Bucky hoped Steve could tell he was honest.

"Even if you were mind-washed again, I'd stop you. And if you did something horrible, I'd fix it, just as I talked with Tony, and he doesn't blame you for his parent's death. But I.. after Peggy, I don't want to lose you too. And not because of a fight or old age, but because we just... might end up drifting away from each other. Maybe we already have."

Bucky had his reasons to try to keep away from Steve, but thing was, nothing was more important than Steve.

And the person sitting next to him might have been a super-soldier, a tactical advisor, a mentor to the kids, but at that moment, he was also just Steve, as he was when he was just a teenager and his mom died, and Bucky would have done everything to cheer him up.

So he did only gave Steve a crushing hug, promising "no secrets" then, but meaning no secrets other than the ones that would hurt Steve if he knew. And he didn't resist Steve trying to spend all his free time babysitting him, nor did he get a computer.

But, as it turned out, you could install dating apps on your phone, and with the help of Friday and the internet, set up dates that were purely physical without any promises, and Bucky was not only curious to try but felt like he'd go crazy if he didn't.

Especially with Steve getting closer than ever to him, without a clue how it affected his supposedly best friend.

He scheduled the "date" on a day Steve was teaching combat to his kids the whole day, but then, he was barely finished in the toilet with the handsome stranger when Steve appeared, fuming.

"What is going on here?"

"He's Gabe, and we were just having a chat," Bucky tried to remember, but all he had was a username and a hurried introduction.

"It's Dave, actually," Dave corrected, and left with an apologetic smile, while Bucky was tempted to smile back. He washed his hands and would have left himself, if Steve didn't stand in his way, blocking the door with his frame.

"It's not dark yet," Steve stated the obvious. "And you have no reason to come to a bar anyway because you can't get drunk any more than I can."

"How did you find me?" Bucky, however, wasn't about to explain to him what had happened, if Steve didn't already know. "I thought you said you trusted me."

"I put a tracker on your phone for your safety, and when I got an alert that you left the Tower without telling me, I thought you were taken against your will. I dropped everything, rushing here, only to find... I heard you. Didn't sound like talking."

"No, we weren't," Bucky admitted, thinking a hundred years were quite long enough for a secret to stay a secret, although he still didn't feel ready to deal with the consequences.

"What, women aren't challenging enough for you anymore?"

"I'm into men. The internet tells me era is more tolerant, but you can understand why I kept it a secret in the past."

"Maybe from the military, but not from me. You were always so popular with girls-"

"I wanted to be normal, I really did. But by the time I enlisted, do you know how many 'favors' I had given and received from men?" Bucky gestured into the air, then lowered his voice, taking a deep breath. "I never told you because I didn't want you to see me as any different."

"Well, I do now," Steve frowned, and Bucky tried to move him from the door and just leave, but he wouldn't stand down. "How many times did you lie to me? How can I trust you? Maybe you secretly ogled me in the showers as well."

"For the record, I'd never done that."

"Because I wasn't dashing enough like Dave?" 

Bucky only stared at Steve then, in disbelief. It seemed no matter what he could say would only piss Steve off.

"Let me leave. Before we both say or do something we regret."

"No, I think you owe me a proper explanation," Steve, however, stood there like he was glued to the spot. "I thought you were my friend because you were the only one who saw the real me despite my size, but turns out I was only ever a friend to you because of it?"

"It's because you're straight, and I care for you too much, don't you understand?!" Bucky didn't mean to yell this as he did, but it was too much. 

He began to regret ever moving into the goddamn Tower, and not just moving far-far away when Steve had found him. Even never seeing Steve again would have been preferable to this. Anything but this.

By then he was quite determined to fight his way out if he had to, but losing his temper calmed Steve down. Maybe because he saw how seriously Bucky meant it, but he stepped away from the door.

"Let me take you home, I'm parked up front.'

"I'm perfectly capable of walking a couple of blocks."

"Buck, I'm sorry. You're the most important person to me, no matter what. But you have to tell me things, so I don't have to find out like this," Steve ran after him, and everyone in the bar was openly staring at them, but Bucky didn't care.

When he reached the elevator up to the Tower and Steve was still following him closely without a word, Bucky's breathing and heart-rate returned to normal, he regretted not handling the situation better, as Steve must have as well because he was giving him lost puppy eyes.

"I'm sorry too. I truly believed it was best if you'd have never found out. At least now you know why I wanted to have distance from you sometimes," Bucky explained, hoping this meant he could get it.

And, for a couple of days, it seemed like he got what he wished for, but it also meant Steve was conscious around him like never before. 

Giving him a pat on the back could turn awkward in a blink while training, and not knowing how to treat him. Everyone must have noticed because even Thor was giving questioning looks to Bucky, who tried to just ignore it.

But then, only a couple of days later, Steve told him he made popcorn for a movie night and went back to their previous normal so effortlessly Bucky started to question their fallout ever really happened.

He fell asleep on _Matrix 2_ and his head lolled to Bucky's shoulders.

Except, when the movie was over, and Buck carried the softly snoring Steve to his bedroom, Steve reached out for his wrist, and pulled him not only to his bed but to a kiss.

"Steve, what the-"

"I'm not straight either, Buck," Steve announced, as if just by saying that he could will it to be true.

"Steve, I'm warning you, if you don't let me go right now-"

"I'm not as you think, at least," Steve got on the top of him and wasn't letting him go. "I'm only attracted to people who are important to me and not the different packages they come in."

"You. Are. My. Best. Friend," Bucky tried to get the point across. "I can't do this with you."

"Funny, because I think we should have done this a long time ago," Steve said, and Bucky turned them around with force and was about to leave the whole Avengers business, the Tower, and the country behind, but then something unexpected happened.

Turning Steve with such a brute force, their hips met just in the right angle to feel how turned on Steve already was.

Bucky wouldn't have put it behind Steve to try to seduce him only because of pity, trying to heroically help out a friend selflessly no matter what, but this attraction didn't seem to be forced or faked.

Especially when Steve noticed Bucky noticed and colored slightly. Every single time Bucky couldn't even let himself think about anything like this, just to find himself already in it without warning.

And from then on, it was unbelievably easy. Ruining everything important they had in the past, but enjoying the exhilarating fall, until it was time to hit the ground. 

And when Steve put his mind into something, his concentration never ebbed, so only in a couple of days, Bucky almost couldn't remember what it was like not dating him.

He even didn't complain when Steve turned out to be found of PDA, despite how Bucky would have preferred to keep their relationship behind closed doors, thinking just by associating with him, Steve also could lose face in front of the others, but he also had to be considerate of Steve.

He seemed so genuinely happy to show him off, to have someone and let the others know as well, eliciting some jokes from them that were teasing, but not malicious, that even Bucky found himself more relaxed about it.

That was why it was so strange when one morning, quite early, Bucky was making pancakes for an early breakfast - Steve's request - and Steve was distracting him one second, kissing into his neck and whispering into his ear, but jumped the furthest way possible when he heard someone coming.

It turned out to be Peter, yawning so widely Bucky thought he couldn't have noticed anything, but the more Buck tried to ignore the nagging feeling that something was amiss, the more it stuck with him.


	3. It's you and me, and all the other people, and I don't know why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is part of a song (You and Me by Lifehouse). Thank you for reading! 
> 
> TBH this fic progresses a bit slower than I originally intended, since I'm usually writing about Slytherins, and Cap's character is anything but, so it's harder for me to get it right. But I hope you can be patient with me just a little bit longer! XOXO

Staying relevant in an era that wasn't your own was like erosion. If you didn't do anything about it, you didn't take measures to avoid it every day, slowly it would wear down even mountains.

It was a constant battle you could only lose if you let go, and Steve tried to be a connection to this time for Bucky as Sam was to him by pushing for Buck to join the Avengers, but his best friend was still just one step away from a recluse.

He could bring Bucky to the Tower by not taking no for an answer, but he couldn't force the others to suddenly befriend him, nor Bucky to do anything he didn't want, when he has been already through too much.

That's why, when after a busy day Steve had found Buck with a new arm that smelled of Tony's tinkering from miles away, and Bucky just shrugged it off, he made a mental note.

Only for Tony to emerge a couple of days later from his shop, joining them to watch _Inception_ despite how he never expressed any interest in any sort of movie night, even commenting on some of the film, Steve knew he had to tread very carefully. But for the sake of his best friend and his own sanity, he had to do something.

So one day when he knew Tony was up, still working into dawn in his lair, and Bucky was not awake yet, Steve took a coffee, and decided on a visit.

"As you can see, I don't have any," Tony only noted when he appeared, busy working away.

"Clues as to why I'm here?" Steve walked up to a table where some a screen displayed many windows loading, probably some program running in the background.

" _Don't_ touch anything," Tony told him, making the screen disappear before Steve could take a closer look. "I was talking about a magical cure for insomnia. Evidently, I don't have any."

It was funny, but it wasn't just a joke. Steve might have laughed if he didn't start to worry about Tony every time he heard something like this, and if he didn't expect it, even if he didn't guess the exact joke.

He wanted to ask about Bucky, but he also tried to tiptoe around it delicately, so he was now fishing for subjects of normal conversation as if they ever were in a habit to have any with Tony.

"So how did you like the movie?"

"You were right," Tony even looked up from his toys, giving him a look. "I don't have the slightest clue why you're here, Cap, but do me a favor and ask me directly."

"I wanted to thank you for making Bucky a new arm," Steve picked up some mechanical parts on the table until the other Avenger came and took it out of his hands.

"My pleasure. If that's all, then..."

"It means a lot coming from you, especially since I know how you felt about Bucky coming here," Steve told Tony, who hearing this retreated to pretend to busy once again.

"As I said. Pep usually takes care of the thank you cards people send me, you could have saved a trip coming here."

That was when Steve thought of switching tactics.

"You know, you could join us every other night, we have a movie and something to snack always. I'm sure you'd have plenty of suggestions as well."

"From what your Terminator pal told me, your list of movies could use a serious makeover," Tony, of course, would say that.

But he didn't start elaborating on specific films, and Steve thought it was already surprising: Bucky not only sat in silence with Tony when he got his arm, but they talked. Even if only about Steve's subpar taste in movies - as Tony surely would put it.

"So, what do you think?"

"I have skipped dinner, but it's too early for take-out, and it feels like my eyes are gonna fall out."

"About Bucky," Steve kept his gaze on Tony's reaction rather than the words that were coming.

"Dude kinda needs a haircut, but if I tell him this, Thor is gonna be pissed too."

"Anything else?" Steve didn't move, and Tony figured he was watched for his reactions, so he threw the screwdriver on the table, and came closer.

"Is this your way of asking if I could be his best man at your wedding? Or yours? I didn't think you'd think of me, no matter how many metal arms I give away for free!"

Steve didn't even try to hide the information Tony's comment no doubt were looking for.

"We're closer than ever before," and then let Tony interpret it however he wanted to. "But Bucky's gay and I'm..."

"Not?" Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Not sure if I'm helping him by keeping him so close," Steve had a specific reason why he was telling Tony that, but only as he said it did he realize it was also more true than he first thought.

"If anyone, I'm sure you can figure it out, Cap," Tony patted his shoulder, turning back to his work. "Just whatever you do, don't take any relationship advice from me."

It was Tony's way of saying get out, but Steve only asked in return.

"How is Pepper, by the way?"

"You'd have to ask her since she'd dumped me, but you know this already," Tony pointed out. " _So_ if you have an old lady friend who is over a hundred but still single, just tell them I'm allergic to cats."

"If you aren't dating, you should have more free time to join us. Sometimes only Bucky, if I'm called away on SHIELD business," and Steve was heading for the door, but was stopped before he could reach it.

"I'm not really into your sullen boyfriend either."

"As I hoped not, since you aren't attracted to men," Steve told Tony. "But so far you were the only one who spent time with him other than me, and you could also take a break sometimes, maybe you'd sleep better. You know, every other year you decide to leave here and join the land of the living."

"I can't tell. Are you referencing some vampire movie I haven't seen? Your list just begs for an edit, Cap."

"Be careful, the sun is already up," Steve grinned in return, leaving.

"I'm sure Dum-E would put the fire out," he still heard.

Tony didn't show up right away again, - he never liked to be told what he should do, even if he knew it was for the best.

But when he did, he told them so far what they were watching was shit, "had to" educate Steve how any popcorn coming from the microwave wasn't worth eating, and then proceeded telling Bucky he shouldn't learn about how this century worked from a man who didn't even know it himself.

If a little bit of "Tony Stark has entered the room, so you better pay attention" drama was necessary for Bucky to have a friend other than Steve, and hopefully with time also become more trusting with the others, then be it.

In fact, Steve had faked an emergency once when he wasn't called away just to give them more time together, teamed them up for target practice schedule, and whenever Tony didn't show up for the customary movie, forgetting about time again, Steve went to get him with an offering (food even Tony approved of) almost coaxing him out of his workshop, sometimes.

He also took a page from Tony's book and when they didn't see eye to eye about something (Steve would have been floored if there was anything important they could agree on), he just made a joke and moved on, rather than inviting an argument as they so often had in the past.

And suddenly, it wasn't just them anymore, but all the Avengers joining them, sometimes even guests. Pepper and Happy often showed up, but then, when once they arrived together, it turned out to be catastrophic.

Tony started drinking like there was no tomorrow, Cap tried to stop him, but that only made him drink more. They were almost half-way through _Ready Player One_ when Tony was only upright because he didn't have to stand, and noted.

"You know, _Harold_ , the next time you steal my girlfriend, at least you could have the decency to wait a little bit longer after our breakup."

"I didn't do anything wrong, Tony," Happy kept his calm, and only put a hand on Pepper reassuringly, who was about to send Tony to hell.

"And I'm right here, _Anthony_ , so if you had a problem, you could have already told me in private. The fact that you didn't, only shows you know you messed up."

"I have a problem indeed, _Virginia_ ," Tony eluded one of the popcorn bowls that were circulating, which Bucky was trying to pass to him, by almost tossing it to Bruce. "How long have you been fucking him behind my back?"

"That's enough," Steve stood, just as Pepper jumped and slapped Tony so hard the sound almost echoed in the deep silence now that Vision stopped the movie.

"I'm resigning," Pepper only said.

"I think I've... better things to do, see you," Clint left, just as most people have followed his example.

"Well, you'd be fired anyway!" Tony only gestured at them. "Both."

"We better leave as well," Happy tried to get Pepper to leave. "And we can all talk later."

"No, no, I've been nothing but hard-working, caring and patient, _for years_ , Tony," Pepper told him. "I begin to think I made a mistake not when I started dating you, but when I started working for you."

"Oh, great, not only break my heart but destroy my company as well," Tony theatrically said. "But do you know how many people want your job? And how many are more qualified to do it? Give me a break."

"That's it, I'm finished. We both are," Pepper only seemed to agree, and Happy didn't dare to argue with her.

"Come on, don't quit, he's completely drunk, you know how he gets," Cap only stayed to try to calm Tony down, and if needed, restrain him physically if he had to, but so far it wasn't going well.

"That's my point, _I do know him,_ " Pepper told him. "And I - _we_ \- never should have enabled him to act like this, right from the start."

"You see, Cap, I shouldn't be enabled," Tony only repeated with sarcasm. "So stop fighting my battles for me, and let them do whatever the hell they want. One more nail in my coffin won't make any difference anyway!"

"I think we should all calm the fuck down and go to sleep," Bucky came between Tony and Steve, telling Tony in a way Steve hadn't heard him talk since Hydra.

"I am calmer than I have been for years," Pepper stated. "Why not let him speak? He's only this honest when he's drunk, and every time he acts as if he is the victim, I am only more convinced that I've made the right decision breaking up with him."

"A victim, hell no, but you have no idea what it's like," Tony was dangerously wobbly, and when he wanted to get closer to Pepper, and almost fell to his face, Steve was ready to not only catch him but drag him out of the room by force if he had to, only, Bucky got there first.

"Tony, you're making an ass of yourself, and I say this as your friend."

"We can remedy that as well. And Pep, just to show you," Tony said, and not only didn't fight Bucky's hold on him but made a show out of kissing him, not just a peck on the lips either.

"What the hell, Tony, seriously?!" Steve went up to them, expecting Bucky to be as shocked as he was, or get a little bit upset, something. Instead, he wasn't.

"The next time you do something like this, you should mean it, Stark, or you might be in for a surprise," he told Tony, who only gave him a fake smile.

"What, Barnes, are you threatening to kiss back?"

"Jesus, boss, let me take you to your room," now it was Happy who let go of Pepper's hand, and instead, got hold of Tony. "This is a new low, even for you."

"Why thank you," Steve couldn't help but note, and wanted to follow Bucky to their room when Pepper put a hand on his.

"Steve, I hate to say this, but you should be very careful."

"He should be fine, usually he pulls himself together when it's time to fight. I'm sorry your night was ruined though. Next time I'll hide the booze better."

"We'll probably be back, once he's calmed," Pepper told him with a sigh. "But he's clearly miserable, had spent a lot of time with your boyfriend lately, and I don't think that kiss was as just part of a hilarious joke as he tried to portray it to be."

Steve didn't think either, but that was just his bruised ego talking. Just because he was taken aback by anyone kissing Bucky right in front of him, and how Bucky let it happen. 

But it would be hardly fair from Steve to try to get Bucky to open up to people then make a scene when he finally came out of his shell for a bit, even if Steve didn't share Bucky's and Tony's sense of humor.

"Come on, it's nothing, we both know how little a kiss means to Tony of all people. Before you, he used to have a different woman joining him every night."

"Yeah, sometimes more than one, too, I'm never going to miss that routine," Pepper pulled an unamused face. "But you said it, they were all _women_. And I'd hate to see him ruin what you have, just because he thinks the 'secret' is to have Bucky, and not commitment or - God forbid - making an effort to have an honest relationship."


	4. How NOT to raise your AI, win friends, or even try to begin to influence people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to give all three of them 2 chapters each. 
> 
> Spoiler alert ---> this chapter is Bucky's, next will be Tony's turn (where we also finally get to see why linguistics will be Tony's downfall, I'm so looking forward to that, hahah), and you can figure out who's the last.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! XOXO

Bucky was in the gym showers, already through with his morning workout, but still feeling restless.

After all the drama with Happy and Pepper, Tony locked himself in his workshop. First Bucky thought Tony just passed out from all the booze and/or was sleeping it off, by day 4 he started to suspect Tony deliberately locked the doors to get rid of him. Bucky still gave it a shot the fifth day and also trying to use the coms to talk to Tony as well, positive he was heard, but not even the AI lady answered him.

Steve, on the other hand, hadn't said a word about what happened. It only proved how he didn't treat Bucky like he was his property, which was very nice of him. What else could a retired assassin ask for?

If their roles were reversed, Bucky would have probably either yelled at Tony, or accused Steve of cheating, but surely making a scene. Bucky knew it was a good thing Steve didn't, but deep down also feared maybe it was because Steve simply didn't care. 

But maybe that was only his self-destructive side, Winter Soldier just without "the crazy". Also whispering into Bucky's ear about other aspects of his relationship and life that he knew were totally bull.

That said, purchasing a phone proved to be one of his best ideas, a welcomed distraction when he got too locked up in his head.

He could ask the internet how _the internet_ worked, and get thousands of pages of the information, even in the form of videos and lectures, easy to comprehend, learning a lot of things.

He could also note how ridiculous but over-the-top-cute Steve was, keeping his shield right next to their bed, almost cuddling it even asleep, and just snap a picture of it, and keep the memory forever. (Secretly being fond of it so much he set it as his wallpaper.)

Just as countless playlists were available in the music app, which he usually used for workouts, or while cooking, and when he decided a fine way to ignore any worries he happened to have was to dance himself out of the shower early in the morning as if no-one was watching because nobody was.

Or at least, there shouldn't have been. Except when he was only wearing a towel, drying his hair while using Bluetooth earbuds to listen to a playlist simply titled _Feeling Good_ , doing a mix of old dance styles he once knew, and the new ones he saw in a couple of videos, he only noticed Steve and Tony were there when they must have already seen him.

"You don't look like you're having a severe allergic reaction, a stroke, nor a heart-attack, _Bruno Mars_ , but correct me if I'm wrong," Tony looked at him pointedly, as if angry.

"I begin to think you wished I was," Bucky said, because he hadn't seen Tony for weeks, and this was the first sentence he chose to open with? "Steve, aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"Was on my way," Steve frowned. "Got turned around by Friday, saying your life was in grave danger."

"It's not. As far as I know."

"I got the same message," Tony told him. "Can I assume then that in no way did you indicate to Friday you were in distress just to get me here?"

"If she didn't confuse dancing and the occasional air-guitar solo with a stroke, you can," Bucky caught Steve looking at him questioningly after the "just to get me here" part, and felt more exposed suddenly between him and Tony without any clothes on, so he quickly got dressed while Tony was typing away on his StarkPhone, probably trying to see what could have gone wrong.

"Okay, as far as I can tell, there is nothing wrong with her software, but I'll directly check the security logs too," Tony said. "Until then, try not to die for real, because I'll turn off the alert."

"I'll try my best," Bucky almost sardonically promised.

"Maybe Steve could take a day off, and make sure. You could certainly teach him some smooth moves, _Beyonce_ ," Tony seemed amicable now that he was leaving, only to have the reinforced metal door shut on his face before he could leave. "Friday, can you explain what is going on with this door?"

"It's been locked, boss."

"I thought as much, but thank you for saying," Tony snapped back, trying to put the digital code in to open it again. "I meant just a moment ago it wasn't, and why I can't override."

"I took the liberty of locking it, boss. Just as deactivating all of your security codes."

"Delightful," Tony muttered. "Care to share why?"

"The Mary Poppins protocol has been initiated."

"Tony, what's going on?" Steve tried to ask, and only got an irritated rebuke.

"If you truly want to know and not just listen to your own voice speaking, try to let me figure it out first, would you," Tony was frustratedly typing away, cursing under his breath.

"Friday, wasn't the Mary Poppins protocol designed for Nat and Clint?" Bucky might have not been a computer whiz, but he was secretly more curious watching Tony work when he was sure he'd go unnoticed than any Fringe episode, and remembered quite well Tony's tries to implement it.

"It was," Friday agreed.

"What about them?" Steve had to play catch up.

"If they train excessively, as it has been known to happen, Friday is supposed to lock them in, so nobody else gets hurt, and the damage is contained to their vicinity, not the whole Tower," Bucky explained, looking at Tony, who swiftly ignored them both, conjoined with the device in his hands.

"The protocol implies to everyone, not just them," Friday corrected. "The Tower is too fragile for any of the Avengers to fight in, so they should be monitored."

"Which is fine, until you malfunction," Steve told her, provoking Tony.

"She _isn't_ , I literally just checked and told you a minute ago," Tony fumed, before letting out a loud sigh, admitting. "That said, I might have given her too much autonomy over her routines, which turned out to be a mistake."

"I thought after Ultron you knew to be careful with these things, Tony," Steve sat down on a bench press, and Bucky already knew this sentence will not bode well before he saw Tony's head shot up from his typing.

"Oh crap, Cap, it has completely skipped my mind! Silly me, why let an AI learn anything new at all when I could be slaving my whole life away programming everything I need manually by myself, lagging behind the newest technology always by a decade or two, inviting a higher chance of errors than an occasional inconvenience like this, might I add, when-"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," Steve at least realized his mistake, making Tony shut up, but still furiously shaking his head.

"So why not ask her directly?" Bucky tried to dissolve the tension before Friday was the reason they'd end up with a fight. "Friday, what made you lock us in when we're not fighting or pose a threat?"

"As I've been learning more and more about human behavior, it seems there are worse wounds than physical injuries," the AI told him. "Therefore I got to a conclusion that treating them should also be a priority, for the sake of Avengers just as much as for the sake of the individuals making up the team."

"No more reality TV or talk-shows for you, _Dr. Phil_ ," Tony noted. "And I kindly ask you to stop communicating on the speakers of the room and direct all your answers to only me, on the screen. No offense, but the _elderly_ will only slow me down."

"Wait, so you're saying Tony can't leave, but we could?" Steve asked, and Friday answered him the same, ignoring Tony's previous command. 

"You had an altercation last week that caused a rift, negatively affecting the whole team, and the issue at hand concerns all three of you. That's why I gathered you."

"Yeah, Cap, but thank you for thinking if someone was emotionally scarred, it could be only me," Tony noted. "Especially given the track record of your boyfriend. Wow."

"For the record, it all started when you tried to leave the room," Steve pointed out. "So what are we supposed to do now?"

"Shut up and give me 5 minutes to fix this," Tony told him, but Friday spoke at the same time, telling them something completely different.

"My data shows you should have a seat and talk. I could guide you through a number of exercises that might help you to open up."

"That's another question I didn't need to be answered, but now I know," Tony only said. " _Oprah_ would annoy the hell out of me if we were to meet in person."

"Shouldn't we just listen to her? Can't be so bad, if all she wants us to speak," Steve noted. "But if you hack Friday, the security of your suits, the whole Tower, and even the coffee machines on the premises will be down for a while, won't they?"

"I'm sorry, I'd rather drink the green bio decaf formula that Pepper had brought 3 years ago, but nobody drank ever since, than let my own AI hold me hostage. Especially with you, Cap."

"What's your problem?" Steve also became tense and annoyed by how Tony was acting, not just the other way around. "You know, I tried to be a good sport, truly, but I'm starting to think Pepper was right, and your only grievance with me is that you'd date Bucky if I wasn't."

Bucky couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"No, no, no, NO!!! Friday, don't you dare do this, or I'll... she fucking did it. I must be dreaming. THIS IS my worst nightmare. I thought it was an alien invasion, but no, we've been there, piece of cake, really, but this!" Tony stared at the lifeless phone in his hands, trying his StarkWatch next, that didn't seem to respond to him either.

"As I was saying-" Steve seemed adamant to get any reaction from Tony to his previous sentence, so Bucky stepped in front of him.

"Stevie, don't."

"Oh no, _Stevie,_ please do continue," Tony turned to Steve right after he threw his dead tech to the opposite side of the gym. "I believe you were just accusing me of wanting to steal your emo boy-toy. Go on."

" _Before_ we get to that part," Bucky gave Steve a look, who seemed ready to make a comment that certainly wasn't kid-friendly nor worthy of Captain America, while Tony was only fake-grinning at them, taunting him. "Can I assume Friday fried your phone and watch, so we won't see daylight or food anytime soon?"

"There should be always a couple of protein bars on stock around here somewhere," Tony shrugged. "Other than that, I don't know what to tell you."

"Which means our best chance is to try play by her rules, get out, and only try to kill each other after she had this protocol deactivated," Bucky tried to point out.

"She'll be missing more than a protocol, I can personally guarantee that," Tony declared on a tone that didn't promise anything good.

"Whatever you say, boss," Friday chirped from the speakers, sounding more entertained than intimidated, as far as synthetic voices went. "But Sergeant Barnes is right, and you'd have to work your issues out first."

"There is a chance the world will be ending in the next couple of days, no matter how small," Tony told her, but spoke as if he was talking to anyone but Friday. "She can't keep us locked up if we're needed to stop it. And even if not, I'm sure at one point Clint, Nat, Hulk or Thor would like to use the gym, destroying the door if they had to."

"We can try that as well," Steve seemed calmer then, giving Bucky a smile. "Do you wanna go first?"

Bucky would have questioned why shouldn't they try to wait the program out, but given how the other two acted, he only took a couple of steps back, gathered some speed, and delivered a punch right in the middle of the door, using his whole body weight behind his metal fist.

He didn't even leave a dent.

"Let me go again, I have another idea," he told Steve, who was readying himself with his shield. 

"Go ahead, I think we'll both get a chance to try anyway," Steve grinned, suddenly enjoying this way too much, making Bucky chuckle, and inspiring Tony to add.

"If you truly think you can break down the most secure doors money can buy without any explosives, the Hulk, or Mjølnir for that matter, please just do it before I throw up listening to you two flirt. It's like listening to your grandparents or something."

"I remember you saying 5 minutes, about 20 minutes ago, so now it's your turn to shut up, Tony," Steve told him, while Bucky prepared himself for the second strike.


	5. When the worst is coming, what can you afford to lose?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope you guys will love this chapter as much as I do! XOXO

If there was no other way out, and Friday wanted them to have a cozy little chat, she shall get it, Tony thought.

"It's such a fine weather today, lovely for a walk, don't you agree?" Tony could have nailed the posh British accent accompanying his words better, but what the hell.

He couldn't even stand still, walking circles, despite being aware of how ridiculous he must have looked. Whenever he felt like this, he'd have his hands in the pocket, walk ever so leisurely, put an unamused face - if not attitude - on, gesticulate widely, and make rude remarks.

But all that was just for show, and someone like Steve who was good at noticing the details would see through it, not to mention a trained assassin like Barnes. Tony wondered whether they pitied him.

" _'Yes, but I always carry an umbrella,'_ " Steve told him, and when Tony looked at him, only shook his head. "Nevermind. It just reminded me of something that happened a long time ago."

Tony only glanced at Bucky, who was munching on one of the protein bars Steve managed to find, telling him.

"Don't look at me, I'm not his keeper. I probably have less idea what he's talking about than you."

"Umbrella was a keyword used in secret SHIELD communications more than once in the past," Friday told them. "Probably that's why Sergeant Barnes is unfamiliar with it."

"You should stop calling me that," Bucky told the AI, who self-corrected.

"Would you prefer Mr. Barnes or James?"

"You know, if you truly wanted to be helpful, you could just open the door," Tony told Friday. "Or shut up."

"Alternatively, I could direct you towards a form of communication that could be the fastest resolution of your problems, boss."

"I think I have it already, so let's just get to it, then," Tony considered it for just a second before he could change his mind, turning to Cap. "I'm only going to say this once: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed your boyfriend. _I'm not saying_ it meant anything since I was so drunk I could barely think straight, but it won't change the fact that I involved both of you in my drama when I only meant to royally self-destruct. You know, as I usually do. So I was hoping maybe we could all put it behind us, what do you say?"

Steve stared at him for a long second, but then graciously said.

"Just don't do it again."

"Promise. And Barnes, you're welcome once again to my workshop," Tony turned to the Bucky. "If you still want to visit, that is."

"Sure," Bucky made a face that could have been intended as a smile, but only turned to a frown.

"Now, that we're once again all best pals, Friday-" Tony would have turned to the door.

"I'm afraid that's not it, boss," Friday told him. "My language processing is quite sophisticated, and I can tell you weren't entirely forthcoming."

"You must be kidding me," Tony couldn't quite believe it. "First you kidnap us claiming it's for on our good, then you're telling me I'm a liar? I'm not in the habit of apologizing, but I meant it too!"

"I'm referring to how you've said how the kiss between you and Mr. Barnes didn't mean anything. You've used a construct that indicates the exact opposite. And monitoring your heart rate, tone, pitch, and average sentence length, as well as body language for the last couple of months, establishing a baseline, there is little to no chance I'm mistaken."

"Whatever you say. I give up. You win! We'll never get out of here," Tony lay down on the floor between two treadmills, taking cover. He couldn't bear the thought of looking in the direction of either super soldier. God only knows what they could have been thinking.

"Tony, is it true?" Steve, of course, was offended. "What she's saying?"

"I have no idea what she's talking about. She's malfunctioning worse that I first thought."

"You told us she wasn't," Cap pushed. "Twice."

"I don't see what difference does it make," Barnes noted, and Tony could have kissed the guy just for this right then and there, despite just promising it will never happen again. "He apologized. And must have meant that part too."

"Thank you! Someone at least is making sense," Tony sat up, gesturing in the direction of Bucky. " _Not_ that Friday was right, but even if she was, it hardly matters."

"But it does. There is a scenario where that's the only thing that matters," Steve said, and Tony could feel Bucky tense up as Cap was looking at him. "If there is something mutual between you two, and I should just take a step back."

Tony first thought Bucky will laugh it off, but he didn't. If anything, he seemed furious.

"You're doing it again! Just so you know, _there is absolutely no_ attraction between me and Stark, but when you treat me like a hot potato, who you'd be more than happy to pass on to someone else when I don't remember begging you to date me in the first place, I almost wish I had a crush on someone else!"

"Friday?" Steve only asked her.

"There is definitely some attraction, although I can't say how much."

Tony wondered about that for a mere second, but the facts were still facts. Bucky's world revolved around Steve, and that made everything else irrelevant.

"Don't make me laugh!" Bucky jumped to his feet so fast Tony only saw a blur of him until he grabbed Steve. "If you want to break up, that's fine by me, but don't you dare! Blaming it all on me, as if it wasn't you who wanted someone else in the first place!"

"What are you even talking about?" Steve seemed more confused than angry, and Tony was a bit surprised to learn that even the power couple of the Avengers could have problems like this, but he was much too happy to stay out of it. "The only woman I see almost every day is Nat, and she's only a friend."

"That's true," Friday agreed.

"I'm not talking about Nat," Barnes, however, only snorted. "But rather, someone whom you haven't considered before because you're homophobic-"

"I'm NOT! _How can you even think that for a second?!_ We've been dating for months, and even before, I could _really_ care less what someone did in their bedroom!" Steve was growing more agitated as well, and Tony could only inwardly sigh.

"He's-" Friday started to say, but couldn't finish.

"Lying, even to himself," Bucky seemed to be sure. "I remember when Peter came to the kitchen one time, and how far you suddenly distanced yourself from me as if afraid being caught."

"He's just a kid! I just didn't want him to see us because I'm his teacher and wouldn't want it to turn awkward, so it was easier-"

Tony couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Wait a second, you're saying Peter shouldn't see you two together because he's just a kid?"

"I didn't have time to rationalize anything! I had to act as I thought was for the best," Cap could probably sense he made a mistake because his expression tensed up some more.

"So, to sum up," Tony stood, walking over to the other two. "Your first instinct is to hide your relationship."

"That's not what I've just said," Steve told him.

"Isn't it, though?" Bucky quietly seconded. "You didn't want him to see, because deep down you still look at us as something abnormal and disgusting, and with your kids, you're so careful to lead them by example, you're horrified what would happen if any of them found out."

Steve only shook his head.

"Maybe I needed some time to adjust, given the era we're from, and what I was told when growing up, but I still don't know why would that matter."

"Maybe you never considered another man as a potential partner before me, and by then, it was too late," Bucky told him.

"Buck, I don't have anybody else," Steve tried to step closer, but Bucky only pulled away.

"No, if we're doing this, then Friday shouldn't just grill Tony and me," Barnes announced. "You know, sometimes I wonder if you aren't trying to push me toward Tony because you're so fascinated by him yourself."

"You can't be serious!"

"Leave me out of this, Barnes, I'm warning you," Tony also had to say. One minute he was accused of getting too close to Barnes, just for the next to be too friendly with Steve?

"Friday?" Bucky only looked in the direction of the speakers.

"I have footage where there are physical signs of attractions between them."

"Come on, bullshit!" Cap almost looked as if he was about to throw up just by envisioning himself with Tony, and Tony understood the sentiment perfectly.

"If you're talking about elevated pulse, and heatedly exchanged words, you should consider we despise each other," Tony told Friday.

"Except you don't. Not really," Barnes looked at him. "And you only grabbed me last week because the only other person present would have been Steve, and you couldn't risk him finding out first-hand just how much of an effect he has on you."

"You mean when he annoys me to such an extent nobody else is or bores me to death?" Tony argued. "Friday, please tell me I didn't have anything to do with Brangelina splitting up, 'cause I'm starting to get worried."

"Boss, I-"

"Wait, I know this one well," Cap spoke up. "Deflecting by crappy humor, blaming everyone else, except himself. The classic Tony Stark move, and you still think I'd put up with him more than I already have to, Buck?"

"Oh, here we go again. The next thing I know I'm to blame for the extinction of dinosaurs. Or secretly assassinated Kennedy. Or personally sponsored the fifth Twilight movie," Tony was on a roll as far as he was concerned. If Cap didn't get half of his references it wasn't his problem.

"That's my point exactly," Barnes told them. "You both deny it so fiercely, it's a torture to watch."

"I'm not even gay! Never was, never will be," Tony felt like he had to declare for some reason. 

"Well, neither am I, so don't look at me," Steve told him without missing a beat.

"I am, but it seems it doesn't matter anyway," Bucky was the only one not yelling, but that didn't mean he was any better, making Steve look at him with deep concern.

"Buck, don't do this. I love you."

"Yeah, maybe too much," Barnes only said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Steve paled, and Tony never would have thought, but now wanted to help them out by asking Friday.

"Was this your objective then, Friday? Locking us in, riling us up, until neither of us can stand to stay in a room with each other ever again?"

"Sometimes to solve a problem, you have to take a road that leads away from your goal first."

"That makes absolutely no logistic sense," Tony couldn't help but say. But Steve and Bucky stopped arguing, so that was good. If they weren't already too far gone. "But anyway..."

"Also, demanding and way too controlling fathers are often linked - amongst other reasons of course - to some form of repression," Friday added, if that was any news.

"I'm sorry, but I kinda lost track, which one of you is she talking about?" Tony looked at the other two, making Steve frown.

"I think she meant you, Tony."

And, to make matters worse, Bucky was looking at him with an expression that indicated that no matter their previous disagreement with Cap, they still were in complete agreement about this.

Friday couldn't have known about Tony's past, there was no record of it, only in his memory, and sometimes even he forgot, but if she was analyzing his speech patterns for months, she'd know.

The only way Tony could not involuntarily surrender the entire story in front of _Stucky_ was just to shut up and take a smaller loss, so he sat back down again, - as far as he could from the other two - and buried his face in his hands.

" _My God,_ Pepper was right," Steve sounded shocked. "All those women were nothing more than a distraction to you."

"As I was, in a way, to you, _Stevie,_ " Bucky quietly added. "So please don't insult me by denying it."

Steve didn't, and for what it seemed like years, the most awkward silence fell on them, nobody talking. Even Friday shut up, and it wasn't Tony's next move to put to an end to that.

"Maybe you should try it, dating. For a while, at least, and see," then Barnes told them, just when Tony went to get a protein bar to eat because he had nothing else better to do. "Clearly, it didn't work out between me and Steve-"

"For the record, that's a terrible idea, and I'd never agree," Tony told them, eating the bar that tasted like he was eating a scented plastic sheet. "Just as I don't see why anything has to change. Truth is, I think you're great together. Although I'll firmly deny ever having said that."

Now Bucky and Steve were staring at each other, Steve speaking up, still looking at Barnes, but not addressing him.

"Friday locked us all in for a reason, right? Not just Bucky and you, or you and me, but all of us."

"So that we can reopen old wounds, and cry in each other's arms," Tony took another bite from the horrid thing just to stop himself from talking.

"Or, make us admit we all want something more because we could have something even better than what we have with Buck. If only we were men enough not to shy away from it," Steve said, just as if urging Tony to make a sarcastic comment on how it couldn't have been possible Captain America who all but just suggested an orgy, but Barnes beat him.

"You can't be saying we should have an open relationship, that'd never work. Just look where our first disagreement got us..."

"That's why I'm not suggesting that, but a three-way, closed relationship. Stranger things have happened, and we could still kill each other _after_ we've tried."

And he seemed so seriously convinced about what he was saying too, that Tony had completely lost it. The air seemed to put a pressure on him that he couldn't breathe through, his chest hurting as if he was having a heart attack, and his vision was turning to almost as something resembling a Cubist painting instead of reality. 

The door was still undeniably locked, and Tony - on the verge of hyperventilating from a panic attack - was sure if he didn't get out just then, he'd lose his mind. That is, if he hadn't already.


	6. And then and then and Then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out a bit longer than expected. But I hope you guys won't find it too long! 
> 
> Also, AU Howard Stark warning (although it could be argued whether he is that different really), and maybe this Tony went to boarding school a little later, although not necessarily?

Steve has been told they wanted him to take the serum because it can't change who you were before. Only, what nobody told him was how if you had a "small man mindset", he could get trapped in that as well. What was seen as something desirable to serve his country, might have also made him overlook things.

Like when he offered up _everything_ he had, and thought he didn't get an answer because Tony didn't even deem his idea worthy of one. 

Until Bucky stood, and closed the distance between him and Tony, pulling him to a crushing hug without explanation.

"Unhand me, Barnes, now!"

"Steve, a little help here?" Bucky called out, making Steve hesitate before he rose to his feet. Only as he got close did he finally get what was going on. 

Tony was barely able to breathe, and Bucky thought they could help him calm down.

"I'm fine. Really," Tony insisted, but he wasn't. So Steve stepped behind him and joined the hug with a little bit of putting pressure on the other Avenger, which was supposed to help with panic.

Then it was Bucky who spoke up in a soft voice.

"You know, I used to hold Steve like this before the serum if he was about to have an attack. Of course, that's not mentioned in the Smithsonian archives, since he's the Great Captain America, and I'm just one of many he saved."

"You can still hold me," Steve told him.

"Yeah, but let's be honest here: I'd only embarrass myself," Bucky flashed a grin at him. "My point is that the hero history remembers and the person who Steve is are different."

"I'd say," Steve could only agree.

"So if you're having a hard time because how you think others would react if they knew Iron Man was only a human being, they'd never have to know," Bucky told him. "But if you feel like we'd push you to do something you don't want, just know all you have to do is tell us to back off. Or we can always give you time if that's what you need."

Tony muttered something back Steve didn't quite catch.

"I have been in love with Steve since forever, but waited 70 years for him to catch up," Bucky looked into Steve's eyes. "And even if he never saw me that way I would have been okay with that."

Steve would have expected Tony to colorfully send them to hell twice and back, but maybe Tony was too far gone, or Bucky had a way to communicate with him because he didn't. Not only that, but he didn't fight their closeness either, taking deep breaths.

When Steve thought nothing was about to happen, Bucky only took a small step forward, pushing them all closer still, and kissed Tony, just as the mechanic's breathing was returning to normal.

Steve could have been looking for a way out subconsciously, because only then did he notice that the door stood slightly ajar, setting them free. But just as he considered whether or not he should mention it, Bucky let go of Tony anyway.

"That was only payback. If you want more, you'd have to come to us and use words."

Tony left without a remark or trying to collect his phone.

"Not how I planned my morning," Bucky then told Steve, looking at him with an almost sad smile.

"We've all said things we regret," Steve realized he should send a message why he didn't show up for work. "I'm not sure it was wise for you to let him go though. He might just never come back, and you seem to have him right where you wanted."

"I only want him if it's _us_. All of us, Stevie, or isn't that what you said you wanted?"

"I guess I did."

"That's why I thought we were in agreement," Bucky went to gather his gym bag, ready to leave. "Yet if I didn't stop when I did, you would have freaked, and that would have made him even more skittish."

"I'm sorry, Buck," Steve never felt like this before, not even when he got the crap beat out of him, before or after the serum. That was so simple, he knew what was wrong and right. But now? "I just..."

"It's okay, the cat's out of the bag anyway," Bucky softly kissed him, and Steve couldn't help but instantly think how just a second ago it was Tony he was kissing. "We could use the time to regroup if you're still in."

"And if I'm not?" Steve found himself wondering out loud. "Or if he isn't?"

"I'd like to think I am - no, _we are_ \- more irresistible than that," he only got a shy smile from Bucky, and Steve could only kiss him once again in return.

"I guess you are."

"That's a good start. If you still want me."

Steve thought he could never want Bucky any less and decided to not just tell him that, but show him how true it was.

Just as he made a simple, yet nefarious plan to talk with Tony after two weeks passed.

It was a nice surprise when the door accepted Steve's code to Tony's workshop, letting him in, but then again, Tony was good at pretending. Exactly as if nothing happened.

"What's up, Cap? The land of living has finally proven too much for you to handle so you decided to visit my crypt?"

"I wanted to ask you about a woman," Steve decided to come out and tell him right away.

"Oh?" that made Tony wonder what it was about for sure.

"Friday," Steve supplied before Tony's imagination would run wild.

"Oh, _that woman,_ " Tony said this more viciously than when he was talking to Pepper holding a grudge. "She's gone. Dismantled completely. Never to be heard from again. Had to dump years' worth of data, so it was almost like with Jarvis all over again, but I've been using Tadashi since, and don't regret a thing."

"And let me guess, he doesn't have any of her training regarding human behavior and speech."

"That's why we're best pals," Tony smiled, and the foreign AI chirped in.

"We're more like co-workers, Mr. Stark, sir."

"Traitor," Tony dramatically gasped, but Steve knew he was covering up content. "So sorry, Cap, but if that was all, then you should leave."

Steve decided he won't stand down so easily, regardless.

"I wanted to ask her to run 3 calculations based on all the knowledge she had that your new companion doesn't," Steve felt his jaw tighten, so thinking better of it, he tried to soften his voice just as much as the muscles in his shoulders and neck. "Maybe you could still ask her after I leave, and see for yourself."

"I'm sorry to disappoint, Cap, but no matter how highly people think of me, I'm still not a wizard to turn back time," Tony, of course, would say that even if he had Friday stashed away somewhere, so there was no way of telling.

"The first calculation would be the likelihood of me and Bucky staying together in the long run."

"Even when she worked properly, Friday couldn't have told you that. She's not omniscient, and there are too many variants to predict the future, especially considering how volatile human behavior can be."

"A rough estimate then, or some compatibility test, I'm sure many can be found on the internet," Steve shrugged. "Then ask her to do a calculation with you and Buck. And finally, for all of us."

"Cap, don't take this the wrong way-"

"No, I mean it, you should ask her," Steve this once didn't let Tony talk himself out of the topic at hand. "And believe the numbers if you don't believe me. Or Bucky. Do you have any idea how difficult it can be for him now?"

Steve didn't come to reprimand Tony and already regretted doing it the minute it was out of his mouth. The other super soldier was fine and told him Tony only needed more time, but whenever there was a risk of them going somewhere where Tony could or would appear as well, he completely retreated to almost Winter Solider silent, and Steve hated it.

"Well, my fault. As it always is, isn't it? No matter if I care too much or too little for something, whether we're talking about the fate of Earth or a relationship, I'm always wrong, and you'll be always the first to point it out, won't you?" Tony wasn't as laid-back as he first seemed to be either. "And as much as I appreciate that, maybe I would be more tempted to run the numbers if you came here asking that I should run four. One also including you and me."

Steve froze hearing that.

"Look, that's only because if you could tolerate me, Bucky would be no doubt just a win for you."

"Is that what you truly think?" Tony simply asked, avoiding eye-contact by picking up random stuff that was lying on his table, then discarding it.

Steve could have told Tony he should ask Friday that as well, maybe, but then restrained from it, giving up the truth with a sigh.

"Yes, it is."

"And what if you're right? Let's say Friday isn't salvageable, but I cook up a new machine learning gig, and it spits out me and your buddy are more compatible than you're with him or all together?"

"Then I'm willing to do the right thing and walk away," Steve said, only earning a soft snort from Tony.

"You're such a liar, Rogers."

"Just think about what I've said," Steve said in return, but before he could reach the door, Tony stepped in his way.

"If you mean it, put your money where your mouth is. Because quite frankly, at this moment, I can't even picture you and me together."

As if provoked, Steve found himself closing the distance between them one second, plastering Tony over his desk before he could register what he was doing, and his doubts made him stop, but Tony was tolerating his touch still, looking at him with a determined expression, licking his lips. Making Steve wonder how Bucky was probably right and Tony would never deny him anything if Steve made a move and meant it.

Only, he never considered this because he still saw himself as a washed-out kid from Brooklyn, while Tony Stark wasn't.

But Tony wasn't hiding behind impenetrable walls now as he usually did. Making Steve feel like he had to take the chance, or he'll never get another, so he kissed the other Avenger, while Tony only kissed him back with more fervor.

Which, in turn, made Steve lift him to the desk, and not only step between the mechanic's legs, flushing their bodies close together, but also let his hands roam, exploring, making Tony groan into their mouth, but then pull away only a little bit later.

"Steve, you are full of surprises," he said. "But if we don't stop now, I don't think I'll be able to, and we _desperately_ need Bucky, I can tell you that without running any calculations."

"I didn't think I kissed this bad," Steve was told by Nat he could use practice, but he was never drawn to her like that, so he didn't think he sucked _so hard_.

Tony let out an amused chuckle.

"I'm talking about everyday conversation. As good as _this is_ between us, we'd still tear each other verbally apart on dates."

"So, we're planning on going on dates, all three of us?"

"It's what people do, or so I have been told," Tony said, with a small, amused smile hiding behind his features and Steve was tempted to kiss him again just then, but Tony had a point, and they should be all present if anything was going to happen - at least in the beginning.

Then, a covert SHIELD mission popped up, taking Steve off the grid for 10 days, and when he got back, Bucky looked tired. Resigned. Distant.

"Did Tony talk to you?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, he clearly made his choice, which has nothing to do with us," Bucky sighed, but just when Steve could tell him that wasn't how things were last time he checked, Tony appeared as well.

"Finally Steve, you're back. So where are we going? I've been thinking, if we take a Quinjet, we could go anywhere in the world, just think about it."

"Why would we?" Bucky didn't understand, and it wasn't his fault.

"He's talking about taking us on a date," Steve tried to explain.

"You haven't told him? Am I your dirty mistress now, Cap?" Tony gave him a look, making Bucky stare at them both.

"I literary just got back," Steve got the sudden urge to defend Tony's honor by challenging the not so kind title, even if it Tony who labeled himself with it. "And I thought you'll do it, though, given that I was gone for _more than a week._ "

"Excuse me, but how was I supposed to know you conveniently forgot to mention something so important before leaving?" Tony scoffed.

"By checking on Bucky if I'm not here? But certainly leaving your lab at least once a week to talk to him," Steve suggested.

"Under different circumstances, I would have, but since I just had to dump Friday, there is a lot of work I need to-" Tony started, but was interrupted by Bucky.

"If we're all supposed to be together, one of you better tell me. Right now," he warned that made both Steve and Tony shut up.

"Go ahead," Steve saw how excited Tony was.

"So here's the deal. Let's do it. I'm in. All the way. Not holding back, not apologizing for it either. If you still want it, I mean. Even knowing that Capsicle and I tend to have some fuckups like we just did."

Steve thought they were past the nickname stage, but otherwise Tony was right. Heaven only knows what it could have been like for Bucky.

"I'm glad you did, this time," Bucky told them after a moment of heavy pause. "I doubt I would have been able to wait so long otherwise. Just fair warning: don't try to raise any children without me. You'd kill each other, and nothing undermines authority more than that."

Tony just gave a "what did I tell you?" look to Steve, who couldn't help but laugh.

"At the risk of repeating myself," Tony got back to his previous line of thought. "Where should we go? Somewhere with a dress code?"

"For today, I thought I could cook something nice welcoming Steve back, and we could take it easy," Bucky told him as if he was reading Steve's mind. 

Going out was nice, especially if Tony didn't mind being seen in their company, but Steve just spent hours on a plane getting back to this continent, so he wasn't that keen on dressing up and being recognized in the restaurants and everything.

"Define taking it easy," Tony said.

"Well, do you own a bed?" Bucky teased. "'Cause I don't think I've ever seen you outside your lab, but maybe it would be better suited for tonight than the one we share with Stevie. A fresh start and all."

"I suppose I could show you," Tony told them, generous as ever.

"And I could help with preparing the dinner," Steve offered.

"Or, we could order take out, and skip straight to the fun part," Tony suggested.

"When was the last time you didn't just preheat something?" Bucky told him. "A month? A year? Ten? Do you even have a recollection of how food that didn't come out of a box looks like?"

"You know it hasn't been so long," Tony declared, but when Steve and Bucky started cooking, he joined them and kept chatting them up for the longest time.

Steve was torn between entertained and thinking this had to be a record even for Tony when Bucky suddenly switched the topic.

"So, can't you restore Friday? Maybe you should strip the talk show host persona off of her, but she didn't do any irreversible damage, did she?" And that made Tony shut up so abruptly Steve started to worry.

"Maybe ask me again after our third date," Tony told them, and Steve couldn't help but think the worst.

"Did she do something else to you after the lockup?"

"What? No!" Tony told him, but his carefree chatter was good as gone. "If you must know, there is something I never told anyone, but-"

"Tell us then," Bucky turned off the heat under the pans that were ready. "It won't matter if she figured out, if we know anyway, right?"

But Tony seemed only deep in thought, and Steve didn't think it would be right to pry. The conversation headed to lighter topics for more than half an hour when Tony finally sighed, returning to it.

"So, I always went to school with older kids who basically didn't pay attention to me, right? But one year when I got to go to summer camp, Mom convincing my father I should spend some time with people of my age, rather than interning for Stark Industries as the year before and before and the year _before that_ , I kinda got myself a 'boyfriend'. It was silly looking back, more about having a friend, and we were too young too, but the thing is... I couldn't have known that was the only day when Jarvis wasn't picking me up, my parents making an appearance, so I kissed the other boy, just a peck on his lips when saying goodbye. I've never seen my father so angry in my entire life," Tony looked up for the first time since he started talking about it, and Steve reached out to comfort him. "It's not like he hit me or anything, but he did ship me off to a boarding school only two days later, so that they'd make a 'real man' out of me. Otherwise, I shouldn't even bother coming back, he said. Even then, I had the distinct feeling it was only thanks to Mom I wasn't disowned on the spot."

Steve liked the older Stark originally, working with him, but he also knew the scientist started drinking more and more as he aged, and after the story, he was almost glad Howard was gone.

"Thank you for telling us," Bucky stood, and circled the table to kiss Tony softly.

"And if you feel like you need more time," Steve said, looking at Bucky who only nodded before Steve started speaking. "We can just watch another crappy movie or two tonight instead."

"Careful with what you're calling crappy," Tony gave him a warning. "But I think I'm finally over it. After all, when I've completely gone off the rails, and you both held me I don't think I've ever felt so... recognized before? Safe, although I wasn't wearing a suit? I don't want to say warm, it sounds like something only a clingy perv would say, but-"

"Tony," Bucky only told him, kissing into his neck.

"Hm?"

"I think he means you owe us a tour if you feel like you're up for it," Steve told him, also giving Tony a kiss.

"I'm not the fossil in our relationship, Steve," Tony told him, which made Bucky chuckle. But then also smirk like someone who had some ideas what to do with a fossil when there were three of them, and Steve couldn't wait to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I appriciate everyone who made it to the end, you guys are all the best! XOXO


End file.
